My First Born, My Savior

All the things I have been through and done, I always said I would never have children because I never wanted to raise them with the way I lived. I had two abortions, that I truly regret having, before I turned 18. When I was 19, I was home from Job Corps for my two week vacation. It was during 4th of July weekend. While I was home I took the Long Island Railroad into Jamaica station where my best friend had lived up the street from at the time. While there I met a friend of her boyfriends, his name is John. We spent the weekend together, it was our "summer love". Two weeks go by, I find out I am pregnant. I was scared and nervous because a week before that weekend, I had slept with an ex-boyfriend. How do I tell my parents? How do I take care of this child? I couldn't take care of myself at the time. Abortion again? I couldn't do it. Something inside was telling me not to do it. I went home for good a month later, being almost 2 months pregnant according to the doctor. I started planning on what I was going to do, give the baby up for adoption. Time goes by, I reach 7 months, and my mother finally asks me the big question "Are you pregnant". I tell her the truth, but I also tell her I have been going to the doctor regularlly and I've also started looking for an adoption family. Then the time comes, March 15 at 2 a.m. my water broke and I was off to the hospital. While in the hospital for 2 days, all I could think about is not loseing him, my son. When I left the hospital, I looked and searced for a job and a place to live. I came across a place called Mommas House. It's for single young moms who need a little help getting themselves together. I got the phone call, I was accepted. I was excited and nervous. A few days later, I moved in and it was a shock. All the things about being a new mom. A month later, I was having a hard time finding work so I decided to move to Tampa, FL to live with my father and step-mother. Everything from there on has been great. I got work, bought my first car, met my husband, but even better I have my son and he's the greatest accomplishment of mine from a time where I was all about drinking and smoking weed and partying. I don't know where I would be if I had decided not to keep him. I probably would still be partying my life away. My son is my first born, my savior.